The Robbers



     Two white-faced clowns checked their goofy watches and laughed.  Just in time!

     They swung open the BOA doors and skipped into the room.  Clown one started closing blinds and locking doors.  Clown two sauntered over to the main cashiers cage and shoved a hand written note through the bottom iron rods.

     “Here you go, sugar, this note is for you.”

     She read it and glanced around and then up at him.

     “What… what do you want me to do?”

     “Give me the gun.  I got the money!  I mean, … give me the mullah, baby, I gotta run!”

     “Why would I do that?  What makes you think I got any money?”

     “Hey, buddy, tell the little lady here, why she should give me the money?”

     “See this?” Buddy held up a thin electronic device and pushed a button.  It lit up.  “This here is a bomb controller, ain’t it, Sid? Show ‘em the bomb!”

     “Why did you do that?  What did I tell you ‘bout using my real name?”

     “What does it matter, Sid?  They won’t survive unless they do as we say.”

     “See, guests, and honey-bun, this here wire connects to the bomb locked under my outfit.  Its on me.  Shall we test it, huh?  Where is my money, honey?”

    Buddy grins and begins to prod the guests into a corner.  A little old lady walks right up to Buddy and gives him a poke. 

     “What are you doing here, Bobby Joe?  Look, you are a scarring all these nice people.  Now you move that big butt of yours home right now before I tell your pa what you been a doing!”

   Buddy stops and stares.

     “My name ain’t Bobby, its Buddy.  Who do you think you are anyway?”

     “Now, Bobby, I know its you. So just take that mask off right now!”  She reaches out to pull the mask only peels off paint instead.

     “Ouch, stop that!”

     The old woman then touches the device and sends out a 911 distress signal.  The police intercept the call and begin taping, tracking the call.  They set up outside the bank, waiting.  The supposed bomb device triggered the robbers down fall.

     Meanwhile, Sid looks at the teller, “Look, honey, get me that money now or I blow up the bank!”  He leans over and touches the top of her hand.

     “Sid, tell this old biddy to leave me alone!”

     “Buddy, quit calling me Sid!  You deal with her. How about you move all our guests to the other room?”

     Buddy begins to herd them out and demands the keys.

     “Throw me those keys!”

     “Why should I?”

     “Because in need to lock up the guests so they don’t get hurt.  You know, we don’t do this everyday, if it weren’t fer pa needing an operation and ma needing a keeper, we never would be in this here bank, missy.”

      “Shut UP, Buddy, you talk way toos much, they don’t need to here all that there information.”

     “So what, Sid, who they going to tell?  No one knows who we are or even what we is doing.”

     “I said shut up, Buddy!”

     Buddy finally hustles the guests into the room and the two clowns grab the money, heading out the door.  The three bags are dropped outside the door when the cops show up.

     “Hello boys.  Going somewhere with our money?”

     “What? How?”

     “You forgot to turn off the cell power, boys!”

     While the cops deal with the two clowns, the teller walks up to the door, picks up two bags and sneaks out the back door, living happily ever after.

© 6262012 Dalene Davies


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