Robbers- Off the Grid-



 Two white-faced clowns checked their goofy watches
And laughed together. Just in time!
They swung open the BOA doors and skipped into the
Room. Clown one started closing blinds
And locking doors. Clown two sauntered
Over to the main cashiers
Cage and shoved a handwritten note through the bottom iron
Rods. “Here you go, sugar, this note is
For you.” She read it
And glanced around and then up.
“What… what do you want
me to do?” “Give me the
Gun. I got the money! I mean, …
Give me the mullah,
Baby, I gotta run!” “Why would
I do that? What
Makes you think
I got any money?” “Hey, buddy,
Tell the little lady here, why
She should give
Me the money?” “See this?” Buddy held
Up a thin electronic
Device and pushed
A button. It lit up. “This
Here is a bomb controller,
ain’t it, Sid? Show ‘em the bomb!”
“Why did you do that?
What did I tell you ‘bout using
My real name?” “What does
It matter, Sid? They won’t
Survive unless they do as
We say.” “See, guests, and honey-bun,
This here wire connects to the
Bomb locked under my outfit. Yes,
Test me! Where is my money, honey?”





 Buddy grins and begins to prod the guests
Into a corner. A little old
Lady walks right up to Buddy- gives him a poke.
“What are you doing here, Bobby-Joe?
Look, you are a scarring all
These nice people. Now you
Move that big butt of
Your home right now before I
Tell your pa what you been a doing!”
Buddy stops, shocked, and stares.
“My name ain’t Bobby, its Buddy.
Who do you think you
Are anyway?” “Now, Bobby, I know
You. So just take that mask off
now!” She reaches
Out to pull the mask only
Peels off paint
“Ouch, stop that!”
The old woman reaches out, touches
The device and sends out a
911 distress signal.
The police intercept the call and begin
Taping, tracking the call.
They set up
Outside the bank, waiting. The supposed
Bomb device triggered the robbers
Downfall. Meanwhile, Sid looks at the
Teller, “Look, honey, get me
That money now or I blow up
The bank!” He leans over
And touches the top of
Her hand. “Sid, tell this
Old biddy to leave me alone!”
“Buddy, quit calling me Sid! You
Deal with her. How about you
Move all our guests to the other room?”





 Buddy begins to herd them out and demands
The keys. “Throw me those keys!”
“Why should I?” “Because in need to lock up the
Guests so they don’t get hurt.
You know, we don’t do this
Every-day, if it weren’t fer
Pa needing an operation and
Ma needing a keeper, we never
Would be in this here bank, missy.” “Shut-UP,
Buddy, you talk way tooos
Much, they don’t need to hear
All that there information.” “So
What, Sid, who they going to
Tell? No one knows who we are
Or even what we
Is doing.” “I said shut-up, Buddy!”
Buddy finally hustles the
Guests into the
Room and the two clowns grab
The money, heading out the door.
The three bags
Are dropped outside the door when the
Cops show up. “Hello,
Boys. Going somewhere
With our money?” “What? How?” “You
Forgot to turn off the
Cell power, boys!” While the cops deal
With the two clowns, the
Teller walks up to the door, picks
Up two bags and sneaks
Out the back door, down
The hallway, out the back
Door, happy as a clam. “Thanks,
Boys, I was planning this myself!
What an exciting day!”  She calls
Her boyfriend. They live happily ever after.

© 62013 Dalene Davies


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